So you want to be a World Champion. Why not? Up there with Michael Schumacher, Damon Hill, and the rest of them. Well, now you can. Come along to the World Conker Championships and you could be in with a chance.

This event is held every year on the second Sunday in October on the Village Green at Ashton, near Oundle. The map alongside shows where Ashton is. If you would like a larger map to show you the way from the A1 or other major roads just click on the small one. For this year, 1999, the second Sunday falls on October the 10^th.

1999 celebrates the 35^th time that the event has been held and visitors come from all over the world to take part. They come by the coachload from Germany and France. And you too could join in.

There are separate classes for Men, Women, and Teens as well as a special Team section for teams of four.

The cost? Just £6.00 per head. The proceeds all go to the visually handicapped so you will be able to enjoy supporting a good cause. Entries will be processed from the end of July.

How do you play? Easy, any child can do it. And in England, most do.

Conkers is the name given to a game played between two people at a time. Confusingly, it is also the name given to the instruments with which they play. Let's look at the latter meaning first.

At the World Conker Championships you don't need to worry as the conkers are all provided and prepared for you. But if you had to provide your own, this is how you would do it.

Start by finding a horse chestnut tree. Come autumn (if you are coming over from North America you will call it fall) you will find the tree surrounded by the fallen fruit - spiny green capsules. The large brown seeds inside are the conkers. You would collect these and bore a thin hole down through the middle of the ones you plan to use. The hole should be large enough for a strong piece of string to go through. Don't use a meat skewer, though. Although they are usually be about the right size, the chances of finding a perfectly matched hole through the middle of the palm of your hand are excessive.

Next you would harden them as much as you can. Methods used included soaking them in vinegar or salt, or baking them for about half an hour. Some individual players used to swear by storing them in the dark for a year. Every Conker enthusiast used to have their own "muck and magic" recipe.

Next, you would thread a strong piece of string (when I was a kid it was often a leather bootlace) through the hole and put a knot in the end so it can't pull through the hole. The string should be long enough to wrap round the hand once or twice and still leave a about 9 inches drop. Say 20 - 24 inches in all. (I'm sure there's a metric equivalent in there waiting to come out). And there you have your genuine traditional conker.

But don't forget, as we said before, you don't need to worry about this at all. When you take part in the World Conker Championships the organisers provide you with these already prepared. So everyone who takes part is in with a fair chance - no special recipes allowed!

Each player has a their conker on its knotted string. Players take turns at hitting their opponent's conker. If you are the one whose conker is to be hit first, let it hang down from the string which is wrapped round your hand. That 9 inch drop is about right. You must hold it at the height your opponent chooses and you must hold it perfectly still.

Your opponent, the striker, wraps his conker string round his hand just like yours. He then takes his conker in the other hand and draws it back for the strike. Releasing the conker he swings it down by the string held in the other hand and tries to hit his opponents conker with it.

If he misses he is allowed up to two further goes. If the strings tangle, the first player to call "strings" gets an extra shot.

The game goes on in turns until one or other of the two conkers is completely destroyed.

Players take alternate hits at their opponent's conker. The game is won when one player destroys the other's conker. In some tournaments a winning conker can then go on with an enhanced score to do battle with other conkers. At the World Championships, however, the winner is decided by a knockout system.

And don't be misled by my politically incorrect use of the word "he" above. Conkers is gender-neutral sport!

Do you feel that this is all too much excitement and pressure to cope with? Don't worry, the organisers are laying on supporting activities for you to relax to and to lend an authentic country air.

Last year there were displays of folk dancing including sword and clog dancing. There was a folk group and morris dancers. There was an art exhibition. And what this year? Come back and visit this site for the latest breaking news!

And, best of all, there are one or two very good pubs nearby.

Do come along.